Aur Ab

jaane kis bahar ke chaawon main ,
paida hote hain ye khvab,
duniya ke is paar tak aaya,
koi aashiyaan nazar nahi aata.

kis pal ke tasavvur se nikale,
itni jindagi gujaari par,
ek pal ki tasabassum ki tasalli bhi nahi,
sirf imthihan ka daldal hi sahi,

ek bar hame bhi navazo
apani ronak se, aabaad hame hone do ,
mere dil ke naseeb me
dard ke dariya ka kinara tum ho

Published in: on November 13, 2007 at 12:41 am  Leave a Comment  


I read sUryana kudure by Ananthamurthy. ..not bad…very stylish.
I skimmed through BhAratIya Kavya mimAmse … by ti nam SrI … its good. But for my demands on time it deserved more attention.
I read BhAskara paTElaru matthu nAnu , a transaltion of a malayalam story by Paul Zakaria, founder of asianet. That story was also made into a movie by Adoor titled “Vidheyan”. Its outright in the Chekov class. Goddaamit. It is in the monthly Kannada Magazine Mayura. If you get a chance, then read it. May be movie is also good, but I don’t understand a word of Malayalam except korangan which means monkey. What a hell of a story. ayyayyappO
I asked the CD shop guy to give me. He seems not to have it.
What an irony! Prashant could see Vidheyan, 8 and half, Apu trilogy and all such movies at U of California, here we get nothing!!! of course nothing but the ever available nameless ones!!! (:-…..
Recently whizkid Dr Terence Tao got Fields Medal, Dr.Kiran Kedlaya missed(:-( [two more chances only! ] and Dr Perelman rejected it…Ayyaayyappo
I was told by the photographer today, at the photo shop that my face is not photogenic (:-( because I open my eyes too much … I believe his reason has some thing to it (:-(
My back pain is still a worry, mind is absolutely blank, work is not moving…

Tomorrow I shall launch…. Allah ho akbar.

Published in: on June 19, 2007 at 4:50 pm  Leave a Comment  

On the way…

First my cool,

then my curtsy,

last my silence.

My cool our pleasure
my curtsy my present choice
my silence to move ahead

Published in: on May 24, 2007 at 11:27 am  Leave a Comment  

Rules of the Game

I was watching a discussion between two guys on TV a few years ago.The first guy said, in the past 1000 years of literature in the Indian subcontinent, there has never been any real Indian drama. Either the plays were written in Sanskrit which was excluding the cognizance of the working masses, as the stories evolved around the kings and Gods or at the other end, the dramas that might have popped up in the folk lore were in vernaculars, and very specifically insulated from the life of the people with other tongues. And only after the independence the united Indian subcontinent has life that is lived in tandem, and the dramas coming out of such a life, are the only ones that can be called Indian Dramas.And among the lot, the pick are Badal Sircar and you.
The second guy[famous for his half-truth… yeah screen-play titled so] said you too.Actually its all the three.
Yeah, as you might have expected both agreed with their great analysis.

A decade later, saying “Rushdie is not a phenomenon, but she is: with one novel, got an international award, became rich, famous and gets media attention.”
the first guy wrote a play called “Heap of broken Images”, claiming only those who write in their mother tongue can do justice to literature. Well, he seems not to have got the money or fame she got with this effort too.
This she, is interestingly described by Tarun Tejpal as
“with aerobically toned sexy body has the biggest balls for an Indian writer, who is  generous both with her time and money”.
But the point is , there was a folk art form all the time, which would cater to the poor working classes, in vernaculars as oral tradtion. Usually the players and the writers would be one/many of them, with some extra verbal skills, and used as time pass during the monsoon times, when no work on fields was due.
There were second type of itinerant performers who would come perform amongst these simpletons, and be paid in cash or kind[mostly], for the entertainment they provided. These were a bit more devoted and would be either more political social or mystic in their literary creations. I know some of the marvelous folklore from my own village and surroundings coming down for centuries. These literary works usually were performed by a single person, as “pada”s viz ge ge pada, kamsaLe pada etc or else with a group of 3 to 5 people, usually of the same family. They were again supported by the village working class, not the rich Zamindars, nor patronized by temples. Since they were dedicated to the art form for their livelihood, as a rule, their creations have more artistic attributes, than the once-in-a-while singing and dancing done by the working folks them selves.

The other major part of their performance was the mystic element which would bring God and his favors with in the reach of the religiously kept-out people. This inspired the workers to patronize them for more than entertainment-value of the performances.
On the other side there were Bhasa,KALidasa in Sanskrit and in vernacular pampa ranna and so on directly having the royal patronage.
The two started loosing distinction slowly in the middle ages during elaborate productions arranged for the working classes by the land lords. Yakshagaana etc and finally leading to touring talkies natakagaLu and nataka companies, like gubbi company etc .
During the same time the politico-economic status of the country was also undergoing severe changes, as to shift the balance of profitable remuneration, from the rich few patrons to the large number of working class. Here what worked was the number. Each paying an anna would be a huge amount compared to the patronage of the numbered rich.
So, finally this impact also got into the story lines of the content. The stories of kings were also there, but the stories of people like those in the audience started getting prominence. Thus we have landed up with the master pieces of Dhuttargi like Sampatthige SawAl etc.

The key factor, here is , in both form and content , the dramas all the while, were tailored to the paying audience. That’s it.
There is no more esoteric factor to it.
If Indiana Jones has an Indian element in the story line, the Indian market is also millions strong.

The writer, can write about the life he has lived and things he/she has strong relation with, thematically. But he always tries to tailor it to be affective to the paying masters. Hence the source coding and channel coding.

The form and content are decided by only these two, and manifested as per the artistic capabilities [prathiBhe] of the artist.

Recently, after inspiring (?) collection of or due to “the heap of broken images”, he has come up with his first Originally-English Play .

did you say

Udara nimittham bahukrutha vesham !!!

Published in: on May 11, 2007 at 10:21 am  Comments (1)  

All in the Game

One bored afternoon, I went with Raaga to attend the lecture of Srinivasan,[hoping my memory is serving well about his name], Cambridge trained micro economist, teaching at IIM Kozhikode. By then I was understanding economics well. To put it straight, while figuring out to live with out an income (:-(, I had touched the base.

In the lecture, while he was writing the equations and graphs I was , for a change, following everything he said.

Then asked the question

“what will happen in the limiting case of the integral which he was putting as the function to represent the distributed economic status of everyone in the society, nation,organization and government , with an inter linking, and inter reflecting nature?”

“Well, I dont know about any such limiting case, you must ask that fellow he is a mathematician , I am not!” …….straight came his reply.

But the professor sitting beside, with one of the more beautiful smiles I have seen, said,

“Idi Amin”.

And at the world level? I quipped !

Don’t we know! he smiled:

I smiled too!

Well, it seems only two of us were making sense of the lecture, rest were having, after lunch effects including the speaker!

I realized. I realized I had hope, my world has a place in reality and vice versa.

Five years before this event, a writer went to his auditor’s house, on a Sunday morning. Since the auditor would never come out of his room even a minute before the appointment, the early visitor was kept waiting in the hall, and was also treated with the rice bread ( Akki rotti, kai chuntney, world famous in that whole town) by the auditor’s wife. Since the writer was in a jovial mood, the auditor’s house wife, who had read all his novels; given as the complimentary copies, even before publications, complained, in her characteristic way,

“Yen Saar, eshTondu vOdiddEra, Adru nim muKKHadalli saraswathi KhaLene illa, neevu adyen bareethiro, jana adyen vodthaaro, naan bere kaaNe!”

With the mouth full of the delicious Akki-rotti and Chutney, the author could not give any reply before the moment passed to next in the conversation, but made an expression, which was too difficult to categorize as either acceptance or denial.

Since then, not going by that advice, he kept on writing books and that house wife read each of them, only to comment after finishing each, thale thinthaan aa vayya!

This author has recently written a ‘cover’ story, in his vernacular. A lot of debate has come and still going on, about it. After all why does any one write like that, which has communal LOOKING Bhava?

Usually at the limiting case of the persona, each one either knows how to leave, or how to get: he/she is usually an opposer or a supporter, when resolved ACTually. By figuring out a greater thing than any thing previously they are identified with, by supporting it, by adding value with their own individual experiential pedigree, they usually gain the greater acceptance and relevance. On the other hand, the other kind would also figure out the same thing but would find the most fundamentally antagonizing aspect to that power to oppose, again to get the same result of gaining greater acceptance and relevance. In both ways they would have increased one more dime in their value.

So, after achieving great linguistic craftsmanship and literary artistry, it becomes important to apply it to those things which matter most to those who matter most in the world, who can, in return, reward with what matter most. This decides the path that each one takes, depending on one’s the personal temperment, background and stamina.

See you can either win for Uncle Tom as Hemingway, or loose against it for Her Majesty as Eliot, to reach Stockholm. Both way it works the same.

This distinction is so easily manifested, by the titles of antagonizer’s works …. the list goes on

The Waste Land, Disgrace, Satanic verses, One hundred years of solitude, now on a minor scale this “cover” story um …

“He wrote great works before his 30. But since then people wont read him, critics don’t like him”, said Nadira Khanum about her husband.

“No body wanted him when he started, I mean his writing” says T Tejpal about the same guy.

Then he wrote about all that he could relate to in his pedigree, and just took the stand , which would look appropriate to those who matter most!

So,as an example which most likely to be in the mind scape of my reader;

Remember the sense of last two pages of “India, an area of darkness” ; meaning…

“Why did I ever bother about India?

As the aeroplane was about to land,

I was nearing Milan one of the most sophisticated cities of the modern times.”

He can only write about what he belongs to, but has to uphold the perspective as to relate to the one who matter most!

And then he wrote about those suppressed civilizations and their dangers to the Uncle, which on that 9-11 came true. With in weeks, pat came his Stockholm call.

[ Similarly, the uncle told another colored MIT MBA, with a white wife, heading an office; which no one listens to yet, to be peaceful while he tests his toys at some desert lands. He was. So, for his peaceful conduct, he too along with his peace loving office got a Stockholm call ! ]

So, a wild [mod[x] ie |x|]measure can be made that 9-11 was a job worth two dynamite medals in its impact! albeit in the other way!

Their lies the clue. But to add the vitality to those stands, both kinds, never the less have to live it all, and spend them selves, if they have enough virtues to!

Else , weep on saying

The woods are lonely dark and deep,

But I have many promises to keep.

Miles and miles to go before I sleep.

Miles and miles to go before I sleep.

Now the equations of Srinivasan, would culminate, well on the world stage, with the well implied entity, with its religious, political, economical and social facets. So, in every walk of life, ubiquitously every one is climbing the same rope, of course along its different threads.

90 years ago, when there was a voice differing from that of a naked fakir, who was thorn in the raj, they hurried to legitimize it internationally, with the Stockholm call, even if the lone supporter in Yeats too did not take it long to classify his work as “sentimental rubbish”.

Recently, another client of that same auditor had deleted my “write up on his student and friend”, , form his “signature” blog.

“HenDathiya koNeya baagilannU thatti, appaNe padedu voLa hOguva nEnu saBhya, Adare subbaNNa kakka santha… “Clip Jiont

Of course he has more than his writings to reaffirm in his affiliations along many threads of that rope.

Well, he climbed the rope long ago, and reached the Jain foundation’s podium.

Now this another author who recently wrote his much debated book, has found a way, appropriate to his antagonistic persona, to oppose the most opposed by those who most matter, to move towards that podium.

Didn’t that great communist and socialist writer, in Tamilnadu, in a matter of two years of shockingly saying “what the uncle Tom does is right”, get the Jain-call to the podium last year?

After all why else would Eliot say, that ticket to Stockholm is one’s ticket to ones own grave. After that one can rest in peace!

So, instead of debating and opposing him, in print or blogs, just wait for that Jain foundation’s call. That would end his progression!

Well, even that ever impatient, roughly elephant; left out of its group[hinDanagalida ontTi salaga], also said during his Jain-call year,

“Iddiddralli Jainaru paravaagilla. dAna dharma mADthAre!”

Anti-incumbency factor may turn the next government at the parliament to those, who can find this ‘cover’ story interesting, for its scope of use,misuse and abuse they can make of! and then …. that all awaited call!

Even now, the lady [un]luck , who can put her devine mark on the 2 Rupee coin, may push for a call!
Its all in the game.

[Yeah, there is that great surprise when our neighbour refused that dynamite money, saying it would be demeaning to be compared with Henry Kissinger who had made a Sweden trip earlier.]

Published in: on May 11, 2007 at 10:11 am  Leave a Comment  


Two young men, take the blame

One is Praveen, Zahir, other’s name

One means expert; other, to express

My word has both, in Its Flame.
Poor are their hearts

Dull are their wits

who only need, in tiny bits

even the cake and such sweets
They are seldom eaten so

Cherry once, once the flour

Half the distance, for a step

One seldom reaches the door

Published in: on May 8, 2007 at 2:22 pm  Leave a Comment  

We Wake

The midsummer night's dreams are becoming 
too indulging that they  stretch in time
 all day.The reality seems one of the 
options for mind, where  as to not to loose 
myself from its option I need to bootstrap our
  status quite cohesively albeit with some morbid 
disentanglement from the  long acquainted way
 ward traits. The whole thing culminates in the day's
  cliffs and troughs , getting assimilated by 
evening of the evening into  the dark night which 
leaves me to me, to gaze at the past rage,enrage
  and the garbage since dawn.The whining pathos some 
times pull me to the  edges of the known world into
 uninhabited spaces.On one such occasion  I bought 
a weekly which sells at the shop, only 3 copies a week 
 compared to the popular one which does 25. While
 going through that diverged  progeny of its parent
 weekly, I saw a book being serialized in it.It is  
a scathing take on the first epic of our civilization.
 The fact that I  would have undone all the 
civility by that time of the day, does not  
make it an anomaly to look being its reader.
Though it does not interest me  much,I 
flick to the next page. But I cant bury my 
reminiscences  unvoiced, of that book ,  
he had got me to read two decades ago.
The voices of  the past haunt , with its
 image mollifying my fragile serenity. 
The  weekly is Lankesh by Gauri Lankesh and
 the book is Seethayana by  Dr.Polanki Rama Murthy.
   In the dark chambers of the night, as the 
world seems going apart, I  clutch to that 
singularity called hope. The integrity that 
I impart to  it, draining my vitality transcends
 my relevance beyond now.Along with  time.Only
 to discover many new "now"s. Which just toss
 me to the next.The  monotony of this truely 
has reached the nadir now.  The only escape 
from this now is the now of a different kind.
 A fully  actual one, with all virtues and 
the real one. A self contained cocoon  which
 spawns all my restlessness around it like 
the thread which webs  insulating me from 
the chaos in and  around.  During the 
transitive aberrations like these , an 
"interpreter of  maladies" due to the 
"inheritance of loss" it makes.
Then my vanishing  persona wakes.
 yes true.
We wake. 
Published in: on May 7, 2007 at 12:51 pm  Leave a Comment  

It happens

Some days ago there was a series of 
non-events that got to the extreme to  
leave me frustrated.I was going through 
the reactionary work of D.R .Nagaraj,
 Allama Prabhu Matthu Shaiva prathibe,
 which had such a tone of 
criticism of the prevalent nationalised 
view of  Indian Philosophy, 
of Das Guptha,that 
 it really popped up many  interesting 
points regarding the issues
 of translation and the vernacular's
 socio-anthropological so 
called singularities. In a very deep 
sense I  was really going through a
 very piece of reactionary literary 
 scholastic work..As the going got tough,
 as my correspondence works met 
a dead end during week-end, I decided 
to go to the canteen and sip 
tea with "colorful" 
view around and finish  this book,
 which I had prioritised to be
 before I go ahead with my mail
 works.Then as usual there were many 
attractive girls, some with boys
  many without!, being themselves, 
chatting and in abandon. I wonder 
are these girls more beautiful
 then those of the previous  generation
 or that these get them selves
 suitable haircuts and dress to 
 maximise the impact, rather than the 
monotonously dressed and monotonously 
 done hair of the previous generation? 
after all how can I say! The  impact
 being a serious function of the 
readiness of my self to get impacted ,
 makes an objective assessment impossible.
 So, any way I just bask in  the 
thrill of the moment that my circumstances allow me to.
 And there was this group of 5 girls
 sitting around diagonally facing me,
 two tables away, making  huge noice.
I was thinking how destituted 
the rigour of my work  
is making me, by placing a demand on my 
time so tight, that I am surely 
 without any concession, to be devouted to
 this lone cause while life  with 
so much of "these" around me, 
gets un touched and unfelt. In a 
vague flight of delussion I was 
thinking how would it be if I  would 
go and and talk to them, and 
have some fun? Allas there was no 
reason for me to relate to them or identify
 with them which made this fantasy  an
 impossibly abberated reality.
Hence I turned the page to delve into 
 the objection Nagaraj finds in the
 ideological ways of Allama with the 
 anthropological diversions of the 
Veerashaiva Movement and how he  
compromises his epistemological stands. 
Then I survived that hard core analysis
 and entered the section where he 
addresses the objection of Allama about
 the Tatvamasi  of  Adishandkaracharya. 
Then I suddenly heard Hello, 
I look up and the girl from that
 group whose morphology had achieved
 the maximum share of my attention 
span is infront of me! I said yes!
 but with an annoyed 
face as if to make it clear that 
I was  being disturbed from my study.
She asked "Do I know you?" I Dont 
know, pat came the reply. Then she said
 "I mean I thought I had seen 
you some where." I said "may be!" 
Well, at this level, since I did not
have any genuine desire or affinity
for an aquaintance this really annoyed.
I looked annoyed too. Then she asked
 where am I from, I told about 
my college and my stint  at the 
company and the Institute. The girl 
appologised and went off.
 I was since at a very interesting 
stage of the book reverted back with
  no momentum loss, from this what
 could have been a sweet diversion.
 I went back and finished the book.
Meanwhile I finished two more cups 
of tea. While that girl again was crossing me,
 I just asked her had she been  to 
Institute for some reason, 
as there is a chance that she
 might have seen  me there? 
She bluntly said ,
"Look We were playing a game called 
'who dares?' ".
 In that we have to do some
 thing daring. I was asked to 
come and ask about your 
details which I did. Apart from that
 it was nothing else. 
"I have never seen you and sorry for 
your inconvenience". 
uff As Always !!! Why me? Well,
 I did not even have the 
next page of the philosophical 
text to revert back. I just 
had to tell myself... 
It happens Dude!! It happens!!!
   Moral of the story:- There is some 
thing about my exterior, atleast,  
which makes girls need "daring" 
to approach me! Its time I correct
 it  completely and become inviting...
 I dont have much time 
... Soon I shall be swept off my feet,
 by my other half...
 I am getting ready  mate!!!
Published in: on May 7, 2007 at 12:38 pm  Comments (1)  


With kaveri tribunal’s verdict and city corporation giving water once in three days, the ritual of baths are solemnized by

gangecha yamunechaiva godavari saraswathi

narmade sindhu kaveri, amazon nile mississippi

jalesmin sannidhinkuru

 With the battle field getting bloody between norton McCaffe and AVG, each would invite proliferation of virus along with the ever-spying software popularly called WindowsXP, before booting system [with internet connection]

Apa Dhuurthanthu ye bhootha, ye bhootha jaala samsthitha

ye bhootha viGhna karthaaraha, the nashyanthu shivaagnaya

After the boom of IT and ITES the anthropology of our academic times goes by

Aakashaath pathithan thoyam yathaagachchathi saagaram

sarvavidyaa  arjanethi  software  prathigachchathi

With the computers becoming smarter, and people becoming intricately dependent on them, not just functionally……… well all of us becoming just clients of at the human ends for big servers.

So? the ever enchanting invocation of

Kshyisali shivethara kruthi kruthiyalli

moodali mangaLa mathi mathiyalli

kavi rushi santhara aadrarshadali

sarvodayavaagali server-rali

ad sari aadre… client-alli?




Published in: on May 6, 2007 at 7:23 am  Leave a Comment  


I read about “Future Poetry” by Aurobindo Ghosh. I don’t know what he meant by it. But here is the way, I see it happening.

One side effect of being on the road, away from the desk, even when the freewheeling effect of studies, is running like a persistent asymptote, in the back ground, is an inter disciplinary spillover.

Time scaling is an important concept for all the DSP guys.

Explanation: If we have two similar graphs[with x-y axes],one below the other, and if we have the scale markings on the x-axis of the top and the bottom graph by hours and days respectively, if we bring any figure from the top graph to the bottom intact, we are indeed scaling it by a factor of 24, as there are 24 hours in a day.

This process has very deep philosophical and epistemological strings attached to it. It is a very often used tool in many mathematical procedures.

Instead of working further problems towards finishing my work, when I stupidly while away, a thought pops up!

Now how will it reflect in poetry?

That late lyricist, had penned a crisp popular anthem in Taal, as

Ramthaa jogi vo ramthaa jogi

sAri madushAlA pI Aya

mI ek pal me sadiyA ji AyA

Yes this is the apt example! in a second or moment [Ek pal ],

centuries [sadiyA] are lived..

Now coming to infinite series, we have a more immediate example. In my post called “blogonomy” [] the last two lines are the representation of

summation, i from 1 to infinity, of N divided by 2 times i is always less than N.

Now I am gone.

Published in: on May 6, 2007 at 6:55 am  Leave a Comment